Lessons from a Soulmate (Part 1)

So...I just made up with my guy. Human nature man....what can I say? We smoked a dubee and I couldn't help myself. The funny thing is, is that i was just talking to my girl ("K" we'll call her) and she was telling to me about her man problems and they were IDENTICAL to mine. Her boyfriend, whom I know personally, can't seem to figure out what it is that he wants besides her. Since he doesn't know what he wants, he is having a hard time moving forward...which in turn makes it hard for him to be there for "K" like she needs him to be. She and I both are not Beyonce, and were never too keen on that "miss independent" ish...or those dozens of instructions she gives in her songs. It's hard when the love is there but your man, for whatever reason, can't provide for you as well as you need him to. He is her "best friend" which makes it hard for her to leave because the LOVE is there...but unfortunately every relationship needs more than love and good intentions. She and I gave in when they satisfied our hearts but are now ready to be provided for. Im giving my guy just a little more time... The ONLY thing that separates him from "K's" man is that he has vision and direction. He's always coming up with innovative ideas and plans for other people to help better their businesses or personal situation. He's also a poet/writer that is very talented and just finished his first book (it's pretty sexy). While I'm going through my stage of becoming who I want to be (college-ugh:/) I figure he deserves the same thing...a little more time. Not to mention I love him so damn much. Call me a fool. SO. SOULMATES. This is what I'm supposed to be discussing. Well for starters my definition of a soul mate is a little bit different than most. When most people think of a soul mate they thing about some one that was MADE for THEM to cherish and spend eternity with. My definition of a soul mate is different. To me a "soul mate" is a person who comes into your life for a specific reason at a specific time and does a specific "job". Once that job is done they peace out....yea...they peace out and leave you to continue on the path of life. Lets talk about my 2 favorite soul mates:) I came to New York City for the first time DAYS after I turned 20. The time I had was so amazing that I moved up here litterally 5 months after my first visit. The guy that I came and stayed with was a friend of my older sister and he showed me the time of my life. His friends were all charismatic, artistic sorts. I had never met or seen so many beautiful young people. It was surreal. The first night I was in the city I came up from underground (the subway) only to see smoke coming up from potholes, piles of trash bags, and closed stores. I was lost:) But fell in love instantaneously. I cabbed it to my friends apt in the upper east side and was greeted with open arms. From his 15th story window I could see the East River and tiny taxi cabs driving to and fro. We went to a Mediterranean spot (instant culture) where his friends were passing around Mediterranean appetizers, giant mojito pitchers, and smoking hookah...for free!!! (my friend was cool with a promoter). The venue was 3 stories with with each stair case lit by candles, and 2 amazing djs....I had the time of my life that night. So new and so exciting! That week I danced through the Manhattan streets in the rain, ate at spots supposedly frequented by celebrities, and and sat and learned in the company of a "mask maker" who had very interesting views on the spirituality and energy of man. I fell in love not only with the city but also with a guy considered to be best friends of the guy I was staying with. SOUL MATE #1....let's call him "E". "E" and I had seen each other every day because he was so close to the friend I was staying with. I started crushing on him the first night I was in the city. I was pretty stand offish when I first arrived as there was so much to take in. In front of a room full of people this guy pinned me up against the wall, held my leg up, and did a frontal grind type dance on me;). I was intrigued by his boldness (he didn't know me like that...). It did, however, break me out of my shell got me to loosen up. The whole week we flirted a little and I eventually hatched a plan to kick it with him one on one. My friend I was staying with thought my flight left super early Saturday morning. Little did he know I hadn't bought my ticket at all because I was flying standby (and could try and leave whenever I wanted). That Friday night he, "E", and I went to a club. After the club my friend thought we'd return home and I'd pack and head straight out for the airport...really I'd be headed for "E's" apartment. At the end of the night "E" and I pretended to say our goodbyes and told each other we'd keep in touch. My friend and I headed back to his apartment and I packed at thanked him for letting me stay just before rushing out to "catch my plane". Once out the door I text "E" and he sent me directions to Prospect Park apartment in Brooklyn. We stayed up all night listening to music of which we had ridiculously similar tastes. He put me on to an acoustic singer by the name of David Ryan Harris that I would come to obsess over the next few months. We talked about our families (both our moms names are Greta) , our exes, the city, what we wanted to do with our lives, everything. The next day he met me at Starbucks when he got off work and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. We held hands as we walked through the city to dinner. For those 2 days we were together. I was having such a good time in his company I purposely missed a plane the next day after traveling all the way to the airport. I had to come back and stay with him (sneaky, I know). He rented us a movie and we feasted on take-out and strawberry shortcake ice cream bars. When I finally left the next day he carried my bags to the train for me and we kissed as the train rushed up beside us. So nice...I wanted so badly to be with this guy. When I got back to Tennessee I was sad as hell. I was greeted the first few mornings with a "good morning beautiful" from "E". I listened to a song called "for you" by david ryan harris. He had burned a few of his songs on a cd for me and that one was all about this guy missing and traveling back and fourth to the person he loved. The was also the song "come home" by One republic which jaded me even more with even listen. I had to get back up to him. I had to get back to the city. I had to. I thought I could be with "E" if only I were there...and I knew I would be more challenged in school and very quickly cultured if I moved to New York. That summer I worked like I have never worked before or since. I had 2 jobs where I could work from 9am to 3pm at one restaurant and 4 pm to 3 or 4am at the other. I was exhausted at every moment that summer...but pulled down at least 1000 a week. With that money I was able to move and although "E" and I had kept in contact(mostly drunken phone calls:/), by the time I moved back I had moved on. And so had he. Soulmate number 1: "E". He infatuated me to the point that I HAD to get back to New York. It was more than a drive for the city life kept me working hard all summer, there was a hope for more romantic days between "E" and I....the prospect of new/continued love. Just the city wasn't enough to uproot and rearrange the direction of my life. "E" was the icing on the cake. Come to find out, after getting to know him more, he's not my type at all:) When I first moved up here I hung out with he and the same group of friends a couple times. A few months later I made my own friends (whom I relate to a lot more), and I actually haven't seen him in at least a year. But what he was to me at the time was invaluable. Who knows if I would be here in this city (which has been so great for me) if it were not for the time we shared together. I honestly don't think I would. True to my definition of a soul mate-a person who comes into your life for a specific reason at a specific time and does a specific "job". We''ll talk about number 2 next time.